Last weekend was the six-month anniversary of when my dad passed away. On the surface it seemed like any other day but there were a few events that made it a bit different.
I was up in Bradenton, Florida, just south of Tampa, with two co-workers. We were up there conducting research in a community known as Pride Park. I mentioned Pride Park in my first blog as an underserved community caught in a whirlwind of drugs, gang activity, violence, prostitution and theft. Our goal was to conduct a few focus groups and several informal interviews in order to get a comprehensive qualitative assessment of the community.
Once our research and analysis are finished (we are writing up the report now), we will provide churches in the community the information so they are able to more effectively ministry in the community. We spent Friday and Saturday going door to door, talking to residents, facilitating focus groups, and observing existing church involvement in the community. We were treated great by our hosts from Bayside Church and our road trip up and back to Bradenton was productive, fun, and a pleasure getting to know my co-workers better while rocking out to some sweet tunes. There were some interesting moments, like knocking on the doors of several crack houses and trying to interview the drug dealers or being invited into homes of complete strangers for a small meal or a chance to chat.
But what was more memorable for me was a time of reflection and verbal processing with my two co-workers on Friday—the six-month anniversary of my dad’s passing. The quick story of my dad’s diagnosis is: Two days after Christmas in 2009 my dad checked into the ER with several blood clots only to find out that it was an aggressive case of pancreatic cancer that was causing the clots. He chose not to do chemotherapy (as there is only a 4% survival rate past 5 yrs of the diagnosis for those who treat pancreatic cancer with chemo) and went on an alternative medicine/detox/diet regiment. On October 1st 2010, he passed away in bed in his house in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, propped up so he could look out over the ocean.
I would like to highlight a few things that were really beautiful even in the midst of such grief, pain and suffering. There are so many overlapping parts that I don’t really know where to begin. I will try to explain the key parts that really stick out to me, though they are not in any order.
I would first like to say at the outset that my dad was an incredible man. His friends and colleagues described him as a pressman, an entrepreneur, a visionary, an industry leader, and a mentor. He has an incredible story of one who took the limited fortune he’d been given in the beginning of his life and turned it into something great. He went from barely graduating high school to becoming a successful businessman. In the late 1980s he started a printing company called “Webtrend Graphics”, which quickly grew into the largest commercial printing company in San Diego, and then continued his career as a pillar in the printing, marketing, and direct mail industry.
Aside from his worldly success, his last 8 months were of a completely different success. For the first time in his life, he was able to really experience joy and emotion in a way that he never had before. During the last few months of his life my dad was very emotional, both overwhelmed in intense moments of joy as well as moments of grief and frustration. I knew that God was doing a work in him. The other day I had a big “ah ha” moment when I heard this passage in Scripture I was unaware of: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” Ezekiel 36:26. It was like a ton of bricks. God’s transforming work in my dad’s life during his last few months on earth manifested itself in a new heart. It wasn’t so much that my dad had a heart of stone before, but his new heart (and spirit) was a night and day difference from his old one. It was such a beautiful thing even in the midst of such pain, suffering and death.
There are certain people in our lives who influence us greatly, either for our betterment or our detriment. I know that for my dad’s life, namely the last 8 months of his life, there were a few individuals who profoundly shaped his life. Steve and Kim Schuette were two of them. The Schuettes have been family friends as I grew up with their daughter Jenna and we went to South Africa together in high school. Kim Schuette is a nutritionist and one of the most incredible ladies I’ve ever met. She worked with my dad’s health, thinking of creative ways to rid the cancer from his body with an all-natural approach. Our bodies are such complex entities and Kim really helped us understand the dynamics of what was going on.
Yet more than helping with my dad’s health issues, both Kim and Steve Schuette opened up their home and their lives as a refuge of peace for my dad. Whenever my dad went over to their house or was in their presence, the weight and pain of the world and its circumstances were lifted. Kim and Steve embodied the spirit of God, in which faith, grace, service and love naturally overflowed an touched my dad. It was in this time that he got and authentic picture of his Lord and Savior because Kim and Steve were the hands and feet of Jesus. In my dad’s own words, it was the time in his life when he felt the most unconditional love.
Upon reflection, I realized something so fascinating about this whole situation. When I was in high school, I was involved in YoungLife with Randy Guista. Randy become a role model in my life and is responsible for a large part of my spiritual formation. We spent time together at weekly bible studies and also on a few memorable bike trips, including on ride from San Francisco to San Diego down the Pacific Coast Highway.
Several years before I was born, Kim met Randy Guista in San Diego and she asked him to pray for a man named Steve Schuette, whom she wanted to marry but wasn’t following Christ at the time. Randy prayed and took Steve under his wing. Long story short, Kim and Steve got married and Randy officiated the wedding. Years later, I come along. I meet Jenna Schuette (Kim and Steve’s daughter) and was mentored by Randy. See the circles over-lapping.
Randy was instrumental in the marriage of two Godly people, Steve and Kim, who then were instrumental in affecting the destiny of my dad. I hadn’t put all of the pieces of the puzzle together yet, but I asked Randy to do my dad’s memorial service because my dad had a deep respect for Randy, and Randy likewise with my dad. Randy agreed to, saying it was an honor. It turned out to be the most beautiful memorial services for my dad I could have ever imagined.
There is beauty, even in the midst of pain, suffering and death. There is also fruit that may not come directly from our ministry or actions, but can be traced back to us. Of course, the focus isn’t on us—it is on God and His grace to allow us to be stewards in preaching the Gospel and reflecting the source of the grace and love first given to us.
At the end of the day, it is God who deserves to be praised and recognized for the work of transformation in the hearts of people, whether it’s my dad or anyone else. But at the same time, God uses specific people to get the job done. There are few people who changed the course of eternity for my dad. There are others who changed the course of history, and eternity, for people, nations, societies, cultures and the like. Individuals such as William J. Seymour, Charles Spurgeon, Jonathan Edwards and Martin Luther King Jr. are responsible (to some degree) for the positive changes, movements and revivals that they catalyzed. Of course there are also the Stalins, Hitlers, evil dictators and hate pastors (think Qur’an burning) who were catalysts for harm, death and destruction.
My point? By God’s grace, we all have the power to be a catalyst of some sort. We may or may not live to see the fruit of our obedience and faithfulness but that does not matter. Just as you can think back to the people in your life who influenced and impacted you in profound and formative ways, you too have the power and ability to reciprocate that for the people in your life. Do not underestimate what one small act of grace, love, or encouragement can do for one person, or an entire generation.
